Dear Porsche,

Thanks for the offer, but after looking at the pictures for longer than fifteen seconds caused wretching and nausea, I would like to say, “No Thanks!” to this 4 door mantis-resembling, nightmare-indusing Porsche.

Not only is it ugly, but it also pushes the boundaries of perhaps being the ugliest car yet, beating the SsangYong. Please do us ALL a favour and don’t send the Porsche Panamera to South Africa. We’re good!

Yours,

DChetty